What’s the best way to win Miss Universe? Have an open immigration policy.
The last time Canada scooped the honour was in 2005, when Natalie Glebova, a gorgeous brunette born in Russia, won the beauty contest and wished for world peace.
Elena Semikina, a Moldovan-born stunner was crowned Miss Canada in 2010. The year before it was Mariana Valente, a Brazilian-born bombshell. Of the top five in Miss Canada 2010, only one was born in Canada. Aleksandra Malkin was born in Israel, Neda Derakhshanfar in Iran, and Zahra Al-Aubiydy in Iraq. Only Ashley Callingbull was born in Canada.
Looking over the list of past winners, I momentarily fancied that even I had a chance of winning, based solely on the fact that I wasn’t born Canada. Who would care if I my chromosomal makeup were a little off?
One step up the beauty ladder, in the world of fashion and supermodels, we find more multicultural girls in the Canadian category. Daria Werbowy was born in Poland, but holds both Canadian and Ukrainian passports, Linda Evangalista was born to Italian-Canadian parents, and Coco Rocha is of Irish, Russian, and Welsh descent.
In my native country, Denmark, we have a very strict immigration policy, which means that according to my own calculations (full disclosure: I never graduated high school), Denmark will soon reach levels of inbreeding that would make an African tribe jealous. In particular, I’m thinking of the Vadoma people, many of whom suffer from a genetic condition called ectrodactyly (a split foot malformation, lending them the wonderful nickname the Ostrich People). That’s one of the reasons I left Copenhagen. I simply couldn’t see myself participating in that.
While some tourists visit Denmark because we were the first to legalize pornography, it could hardly be considered sex tourism. That’s something entirely left for sleazy Danes to carry out in Venezuela, Ukraine, and Thailand. Canadians, being a lazy group of individuals, have found another solution: letting underage boys and willing women come to them.
Dog shows are all about being purebred, but the human equivalent seems to be all about the opposite. And indeed, recent research has shown that mixed people are considered the most beautiful. So yeah, multiculturalism makes you beautiful, and not only on the inside.