In 1998, American rapper Big L released a track called Ebonics. In three verses, he told us how to talk in his hood. His hood happened to be Harlem, but if you want to represent Canada, you’ve got to learn a few slang terms of your own. Below is the first verse from Big L’s Ebonics and my personal Canadian remake (until further notice, I will keep my day job).
Big L – Ebonics (first verse):
Check it, my weed smoke is my lye
A ki of coke is a pie
When I’m lifted, I’m high
With new clothes on, I’m fly
Cars is whips and sneakers is kicks
Money is chips, movies is flicks
Also, cribs is homes, jacks is pay phones
Cocaine is nose candy, cigarettes is bones
A radio is a box, a razor blade is a ox
Fat diamonds is rocks and jakes is cop
And if you got rubbed, you got stuck
You got shot, you got bucked
And if you got double-crossed, you got fucked
Your bankroll is your poke, a choke hold is a yoke
A kite is a note, a con is a okey doke
And if you got punched that mean you got snuffed
To clean is to buff, a bull scare is a strong bluff
I know you like the way I’m freakin’ it
I talk with slang and I’ma never stop speakin’ it
Canadian Remix:
Check it, a beaver is a pussy
A loonie is a dollar
a toonie is two
Puck bunny is a groupie
We say washroom, not loo
Deadmonton is Edmonton, that’s where you get chills
A car is wheels
A sofa is a chesterfield
We don’t eat burgers, we eat poutine
And we use runners, not sneakers to keep us lean
Get the coffee at Timmies
Double-double means two creams and two sugars
Old women with young boys are cougars,
Hongcouver is Vancouver
And if you eat a lot, you’re a hoover
Hydro is the power
Not what you use to take a shower
And we don’t drink soda, we drink pop
Call Toronto for T-Dot
And sweatshirts for bunnyhugs
You wanna change your grocer, if he calls you a hoser
Francos are peppers, and Anglos are square heads
And you can get your fittys at the deps
Homo milk means homogenized
A Bluenoser is from Nova Scotia, like the bank that monetized
I know you like the way I’m freakin’ it
I talk with slang and I’ma never stop speakin’ it
